Dear Lupus

Dear Lupus,

You came into my life abruptly and completely took over. You have stolen a lot from me. You have put me through countless hours of doctor visits, medical testing, and unbearable pain. You dictate my life.

Because of you…

I cannot trust my body

I lose hair

I wake up in the morning with rashes and fresh bruises

I need to rest too much

I had to give up dance

I can no longer enjoy time outdoors

I need to take pills everyday

I cannot hang out with friends

Because of you…

I struggle to write

I have trouble walking on my own too often

I have lost friends

I missed my prom

And other ‘important’ high school events

There are days…

I cannot eat

I drag myself through the day

lifting my tooth-brush is tiring

I cannot stop crying because of you

Though you have caused set backs and heart breaks, I cannot neglect to recognize the positives. You have taught me a number of things. You have helped shape me into the person I am today. I can fake a smile and tell jokes despite my pain. I am more grateful and find tremendous joy in the simple things. I cherish every moment with those I love. I have met inspiriting people.

You will win many battles BUT I am not going down without a fight and ultimately I will win. We will defeat you Lupus.

Sincerely Your Grateful Victim,

Victoria

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Author: Victoria

Welcome, it is an honor you dropped by. I am Victoria. A twenty-something-year-old battling multiple chronic illnesses while learning how to thrive. Chronically Hopeful was designed to educate others and to provide support to those who are chronically ill. Proving encouragement to others is essential to me. I share my health on here. My major illnesses are Lupus, Hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, EDS, Mast Cell, Endo, and Ulcerative Colitis. I want to share my story with you hoping you will experience support; that someone else understands your pain, struggles, and frustrations. God has chosen not to heal me but to hold me. The more intense the pain the closer his embrace”. My faith, as a Christian has sustained me through the stormy waters of the past few chapters of my life. I desire to grow closer to God and lead others closer to Him. I help lead two online women’s Bible studies. I also post devotionals. I am pursuing my bachelor’s degree through Liberty University’s online program. Despite my illnesses, I have thrived in school. I am a member of Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, Psi Chi the International Honor Society, and Tau Sigma Honor Society. Abby is my service dog in training. I also have three cats Gracey, Fluffy, and Sadie Rose. I am looking forward to hearing your precious story. Sending hugs, prayers, and spoons. Have an amazing day!

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