“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.” Isiah 55:8
Many times we are convinced that we are following the Lords plans for our lives.We take all the proper precautions praying, seeking guidance in the Word of God, meditating, than we take a leap of faith only to fall flat on our face. What went wrong? We might never know the answer to this question. Perhaps the time we spent searching and planning enhanced our faith allowing us to enjoy deeper fellowship with God. Regardless of the reason when things don’t work out how we intend them to we are grieved with disappointment.
I began praying about my college journey in middle school. Than began my intense college and scholarship search in my sophomore year of high school. I wrote everything out nicely, I had a well though out plan of action. Though I went off to the college of my choice nothing happened the way I planed. I got sicker and ended up back home attending community college online. Once again I made plans to go away to school this fall. However, things did not work out as I planed. The finances did not line up.
I spent two business days straight making dead end no answer phone calls. Running around in endless circles unable to get information. I quickly became overcome with anxiety and dread. I had no back up plan. It became evident that things weren’t going to work out. I pleaded with God for Him to provide for me. Than took a step back and asked that his will would be carried out in my life. I know that my prayers and preparations for this coming semester were not in vain. They allowed me to draw closer to God.
Emotions clouded my mind, as I tried to figure out my next step. All I could see was a dead end and failure. After discussions with various people, I made the decision to continue my education though the community college. It wasn’t ideal but I am still moving forward.
I was disappointed to a degree, but more annoyed that things happened last minute. Like anyone who is chronically ill, I desire to be as normal as possible. To be as independent as possible. At times I am completely content as I take baby steps forward. Other times I am irritated to no end. I am twenty one and I am so limited with what I can do. Currently I cannot work, cannot be on my feet for too long, and cannot drive. It is easy to fall into the trap of a negative mind set. It is essential to keep things in perspective and to acknowledge the blessings in life.I am grateful for the progress that I have made. I look forward to continuing to get stronger and becoming more independent.