It is the most wonderful time of the year… or is it just another blue Christmas? Chronic illness and the holiday season can be conflicting. Yes, there is so much beauty as well as love in this season. However, it can also be a reminder of life B.C.I. (before chronic illness). The traditions we can no longer take part of, the foods we can no longer enjoy, and the friends who have left us.
My love for Christmas has always been known. By October, I am ready to begin decorating and listening to Christmas music. Throughout the fall, the excitement builds with every step closer to the Holiday season. This is the first year I am not excited about this beautiful season. I find my lack of excitement frustrating. I don’t feel like me.
Of course, medication change has a role in this for me emotionally. The saga continues as I taper off of the lovely Prednisone. It has been a little over 20 days since my taper. My body is furious. I have begun passing kidney stones again, which landed me in urgent care. I have been put on a miserable antibiotic. Additionally, my IBD is flaring along with my lupus. Not to mention that finals are right around the corner. I know logically why I feel the way I do, but logic doesn’t ease the frustration.
I know I am not the only person playing tug a war with emotions this Holiday season. It can be more difficult to cope will illness. I am attempting to fake it till I make it, going through the motions. Praying somewhere along the way the excitement will kick in and I will feel the spirit of Christmas once again. I have begun decorating my room though it is a struggle with POTS. I become dizzy as I raise my arms to hang up snowflakes. My cats are inspirationally excited about the Christmas season.
How do you combat Christmas blues?