2016 Major Moments

Another Christmas races through our lives. The season always slips by in a blink of an eye. Shortly after another year kisses us goodbye. This year is elegantly coming to a close and we are able to once more reflect on the moments which have shaped the year. Each year shapes our lives and our character. Each year we learn, grow, are filled with love and joy, and shed many tears.

This year began with a shaky start for me. A few short days after the new year, I was admitted to the hospital due to extreme pain levels. They admitted me to the surgery floor fearing my intestines collapsed or did something funky. I had two Gastros on my case who bickered back and forth accomplishing nothing. I meet another Gastro while admitted who became a permanent asset to my medical team. We tweaked my treatment plan.

My Ulcerative Colitis continued to flare. Sending me to the ER after over eight hours of vomiting. Steroid doses were up and down. At the same time, I began my first online Bible study. Featuring the book I Know His Name by Wendy Blight. I honestly, I little hope for learning anything from the study and went into it with some doubt due to bad experiences in the past. However, God deeply blessed me beyond my dreams. He used that study to change my life forever. Shortly after, I joined God-Living Girls a support group for women with chronic illness and chronic pain.

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Shortly after, I joined God-Living Girls a support group for women with chronic illness and chronic pain. I adore this support group. There are many thriving ministries online. I encourage women of all ages to check it out here God Living Girls.

 

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Sadie watching a sermon from our Online Chruch 

 

 

In April I was nominated for the Psychology honor society, better known as Psi Chi. Then in May I graduated with my Associate degree. Shortly after, I began leading Online Bible Study. In addition, assisting in online ministry.  I mainly assist in running two Bible Studies and do a Bible Study Live event about once a week.

I began pursuing my bachelor’s degree at Liberty University Online in August. I adore the online program here. To my surprise, I have thrived in the program beyond my dreams. I have access to tutoring, an advisor, and the library. Additionally, I began assisting with Sunday school at church. I teach the teens, however, if I don’t have kids, I assist with the little ones. They always have me laughing.

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My Gastro retired. So I began seeing another new Gastro. I am grateful this one is compassionate and well educated. We began paperwork for Remicade over the fall.

Then in October, I had another kidney infection along with stones. I also got to have a lovely weekend with my friend and visit Liberty. The trip to Liberty was one of the highlights of my year.

In November, I stopped 6 MP and began Remicade. A difficult transition. I have done two doses. It is an adjustment period.

December my friend and her family visited.(Another highlight!) While I was away with my friend I began thinking more about becoming more independent. I decided it was time to apply for a service dog.  I also got approval to move forward in the service dog process. I just began the process so I have a long way to go but it is progress and I am excited!

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Uninvited

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Less than. Left out. Lonely. Rejection wasn’t new, yet this time, it would be less painful to rip my heart right out of my chest. I poured out the emotions, “God they promised they wouldn’t leave me. How could they?”I had spent plenty of time wandering the playground alone or reading my Bible in silence at lunch. I figured shedding the shell of shyness was key to overcoming rejection, to leave behind those times I was uninvited.

Entering into college I felt like I was on top of the world socially. I had my youth group, the teens from the retreat I passionately poured into my high school years, and the girls on my floor. (Of course, finding a guy friend in order to get a ring by spring couldn’t hurt. Just Kidding! If you don’t get that joke go find a kid who goes to a Christian college.)

I was hopeful that even though I had chronic pain I would soon have solid answers to it and a treatment plan. Steroids don’t make life as a college girl easy. Emotions explode pretty much everywhere in a confused mess. Nothing was going as planned but it could only get better, or so I thought. Thanksgiving weekend I found out I had a triple (Yes I have three kidney’s) kidney infection that was severe lasting a total of four months.

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I had always reached out to a particular group of friends checking in on everyone. I figured if no one heard from me someone would check to see if I was alive. I desperately wanted to just have a conversation about anything. Once someone reached out it wasn’t in a loving manner, leaving me in tears. From that conversation steamed rejection from a group of Christian friends. I felt unwanted, isolated, and brokenhearted.

It is a few years later as I sit on my bed writing this. My life is anything but typical.  God is on the move in my life providing me with a small group of friends who I cherish dearly and like a weirdo I do point it out to them that I am thankful they are in my life. The Lord is providing me with women to pour into through online Bible study, which I am forever grateful for. He has blessed me with the stability and faithfulness of my mom who has refused to walk out or give up. There are many days- even in those ‘safe’ places where I feel less than, left out, and lonely. Rejection is a knife leaving a deep scar regardless the colorful story attached.

Past rejections impact daily life more than we are aware of. Making us self-conscious. We throw up walls and harsh words out of fear. It seems at times we girls take things to heart a bit more.

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I would like to personally invite you to an online Bible study featuring Lysa TerKeurst new books Uninvited.

“In Uninvited, Lysa shares honestly from her own struggles with rejection and gives readers concrete truths to combat the lies our old Enemy hurls our way. You can stop feeling left out, because even when you are overlooked by others, you are handpicked by God. You can change your tendencies to either fall apart or control the actions of others by adopting healthy ways to process your hurt. You are designed for a love without limits, a love that will never let go.

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With biblical depth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa helps readers:

  • Release the desire to fall apart or control the actions of others by embracing God-honoring ways to process their hurt.
  • Know exactly what to pray for the next ten days to steady their soul and restore their confidence.
  • Overcome the two core fears that feed our insecurities by understanding the secret of belonging.
  • Stop feeling left out and start believing that “set apart” does not mean “set aside.”
  • End the cycle of perceived rejection by refusing to turn a small incident into a full blown issue.”

This Women’s online study will dig deep into God’s word, build lasting friendships, pray with one another, in addition to reading and discussing the book.

Even when you’re overlooked by others, you are handpicked by God.
This post is part of Lysa TerKeurst’s Uninvited Book Blog Tour which I am delighted, excited, and honored to be a part of along with many other inspiring bloggers. Make sure to check out http://www.uninvitedbook.com.
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To RSVP: Please e-mail: hopefulspoonie@gmail.com
I will be assisting in leading two studies with the book. The first is God-Living Girls. God-Living girls is for women God-Living Girls is for women with chronic illness and/or pain. The book will be completed alongside Proverbs 31 Ministries from September 6th- October 14th. I highly encourage all teen girls and women to check out God-Living Girls even if you aren’t interested in the study, the group has a lot of excellent resources.
The second group also meets  in a private Facebook Group, which you will be able to join starting August 15th. We will begin September 6nd as well, but we will be doing the study at a slower pace for about ten weeks. Feel free to ask questions!
Please share!

It’s a Spoonie World

Sometimes with being sick, I feel like I live in a different world. A world consumed with pills, doctors, and all things medical. The real world is a distant fairy tale. Attempting to budget time according to pain, fatigue, and symptoms. Even the simplest task must be carefully planned out. Planning is necessary but can be destroyed in an instant.

In this alternative universe, my health is the dictator. Rebelling would only make things more difficult. Taped and chained, the wall crumbled, oh the pain.

Occasionally, I try to sneak out to visit the real world, to be normal. These short visits never go as planned. Rebellious excitement floods my veins as I begin talking to someone. But Conversations quickly die when you are from another universe. The spoons are sucked out of my grip. It becomes easier to sit back and observe. Blending in is difficult. As time waltzes away, I realize how different those not citizens of the spoonie world function.

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The spoonie world isn’t all bad, it is filled with the most inspiring people you can encounter.Each stroy, is more beautiful and devastating than the last. Our problems are deeper than what most people are age deal with such as heartbreaks, parties, all-nighters, and peer pressure. We deal with the lastest hospitalization, biopsies, surgeries, and medical testing. Like normal college kids, we cry together and laugh together. We adjust to the Spoonie world challenges and beauty alike becoming stronger daily.

Five C’s of Coping with Stress

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Stress comes with chronic illness.  Get one chronic illness and receive more stress than you dream possible at no extra cost! Not the type of deal I was hoping to receive. We all know that stress is bad for us, especially for our illnesses though it is nearly impossible to avoid. Like pesky mosquito on a summer day.

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There is stress at work. Stress at school. Stress at the doctors, the pharmacy, with the insurance company, and stress from the endless testing. There is stress at home when the kids constantly bicker. Stress from the medications. Stress from the endless bills. Stress from the pain. There is no way to just avoid stress. Therefore we need to cope with it and this is not always an easy task.

The five Cs of Coping with Chronic illness Stress: a short guide.

Cry

I have always been an emotional girl. Look at me the wrong way and I’ll start to ball my eyes out. Crying is a wonderful and healthy way to cope with stress. Releasing the tears can help the body work through stress and regulate various levels in the brain. A good deep cry can assist in coping with stress.

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Cuddle

Who doesn’t love to cuddle?!? I mean seriously, what is more comforting then grabbing your furry friend and spending some quality cuddle time? Cuddles and hugs come with extra health benefits besides being awesome for stress like lowering blood pressure.

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Coloring

Yes, color. Your favorite childhood pass time is not only acceptable in adulthood but it is recommended and healthy. “When coloring, we activate different areas of our two cerebral hemispheres, says psychologist Gloria Martínez Ayala. “The action involves both logic, by which we color forms, and creativity, when mixing and matching colors. This incorporates the areas of the cerebral cortex involved in vision and fine motor skills [coordination necessary to make small, precise movements]. The relaxation that it provides lowers the activity of the amygdala, a basic part of our brain involved in controlling emotion that is affected by stress (huffingtonpost).” The bottom line? Coloring is a creative way to combat stress.

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Chatter

Call up a close friend and vent away. Letting it all out helps.

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Change

A change in scenery can make a difference. If you are able go for a walk, go over to a friends house, or to your favorite coffee shop.  Go some where different and engage in a different activity.

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Share how you cope with stress.