Introduction to Psalm 5

It is simply an honor that you have dropped by! My prayer is that you will be a little encouraged or learn something here. This is a simple introduction to Psalm chapter five. Furthermore, look out for the next Psalm five post coming soon!

“The various psalms reflect nearly every human emotion: unbridled joy, deep-seated jealousy, seething anger, hope, and depression. These are only a few of the emotions behind the poetry we hear expressed in individual psalms. Feelings and emotions are central to what it means to be human. We cannot escape them nor should we. Psalms invite us to take the emotions we feel and bring them before God. This book model how to come before God in times of sadness, brokenness, and joy. Psalm 5 is a cry for help and a plea for guidance by a person who suffered at the hands of an enemy. It talks about the morning as the time to pray and listen for God to answer. Like many laments, it begins with a cry but ends in confidence.” Biblegateway.com

Psalm Chapter five is an emotionally rich chapter, yet consists of only a few verses. Another sorrowful Psalm crafted by David as he fled from Saul. His mature faith shines throughout the chapter as he not only pours out his heart to God but also praises Him. This Psalm is parallel to 1 Samuel 18-20, which I highly encourage you to read as well to gain a deeper understanding.

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 Clearly, this is a prayer, furthermore a brief overview of how our prayer life should look. Prayer is a complexly beautiful gift extended to us. “Words are not the essence but the garments of prayer.” In addition, prayer is longings beyond words, worship, and listening with a still heart to God’s voice. “Moses at the Red Sea cried to God, though he said nothing. Yet the use of language may prevent distraction of mind, may assist the powers of the soul, and may excite devotion.”

“Utterance is of no avail without heart, but that fervent longing and silent desires are accepted, even when unexpressed.” Humans make prayer into something formal with rules that Christ never intended. Perfection is not an element of prayer, yet it is accomplished in the Fathers eyes when we are seiner. I love how Rachel Wajo puts it, “you have permission to ache freely.” Christ desires for us to pour out our hearts. For us to share with Him every detail of every element of our lives and to share every emotion. He desires your heart even though it is not in perfect condition, even if you feel it is shattered and stained by sin.

It can be tempting to pretend that we have it all together and are just a step away from perfection. Aiming for the perfect body, perfect career, perfect family, and perfect relationship with Christ. Society has us in the mind frame that we can achieve perfection. The media whispers that everyone but you has it all together. We don’t want to be a burden to those around us so in a way we isolate ourselves in pretending it is all fine.

Lord,

We proclaim how great you are and tell of the wonderful things you have done. You are our strong defender. Our source of life. You have blessed us beyond understanding. All honor, glory, and praise be to Your name now and forever.

We praise You for the holy gift of Your word. Enable us to cherish it and engrave it on our hearts. Let us see clearly so that we may take in the amazing things coming from Your Word. Open the eyes of our hearts. We are eagure to receive Your Word. Bless us with understanding. Help us to apply Your Word to our life today.

Amen

 

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December

Cherish this December making it one to remember. Soak in the lights. Lay aside the struggles of your fight. Christmas consumes the air. Priceless and rare. Time simply flys. The Christmas season has officially taken off. I hope laughter kisses your lips too many times to count. That dreams consume your thoughts. I pray joy fills your heart. That you are surrounded continually with beauty and love.  Open your heart. Allow this Christmas season to be completely unique and wonderful in its own way. I hope you are able to cherish each moment.

“The spirit of Christmas is the spirit of love and of generosity and of goodness. It illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than in things.”  Thomas S. Monson Invest in the people in your life in simple ways. In between the business, remember to take time for you. Time to rest and reflect. You have grown as an individual. You have claimed victory over many trials which came so that you would become stronger. You, my friend, have come so far. I am proud of you. You are an encouragement. Your story is breathtaking and laced with beauty along with inspiration it will change lives. I pray your strength is renewed. The Lord will bless you greatly this season, be open to all he has to offer for you.I pray that you would encounter the Lord in a new way this Christmas season. That He would mold your heart in amazing ways as you dance closely in His embrace.

I pray you would have a flare free Christmas season. I hope that despite your pain you are able to enjoy this season of blessing. Cherish every moment with those you hold dear to your heart. Hold onto the Christmas spirit. I pray that this season would bless you with little to no pain, plenty of spoons, memories, joy, and love. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Let your heart be light From now on, our troubles will be out of sight.”

 

I am helping lead an online Bible Study. We are reading the book Living So That by Wendy Blight. This afternoon I am preparing for an online event later this week. One of the topics spoken about is resting at Jesus’ feet. Sitting silently; just being with Him.”Time spent in silence seeking God’s will is not time wasted, but time spent wisely.” I know it’s hard to get time away. To get a couple of quiet moments. To still our hearts. To actively listen. A few seconds to a few minutes of silence make a difference.  Of course, this takes me back to my journey to Taize, nearly five summers ago.

Taize is a Christian community in France were thousands of teens and young adults gather to draw closer to God. The silence was an essential part of worship there. Learning the simplicity of just being with the Lord.

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I begged God to give me a map for my future, as I sat on a bridge in silence for an hour. That hour changed my walk with Christ allowing me to grow closer than I knew possible.

Now I am certain I never would have understood all He had in store for me.  I wouldn’t have understood that I would minister to those who are chronically ill- I didn’t even know what Lupus was. I wouldn’t have understood that I was called to an online mission field, not Brazil or Africa. I wouldn’t have understood that I needed to slow down or the weight of this quote, “Sometimes we need to care for the 5,000 before ourselves, but sometimes we need to care for ourselves before the 5,000.”  There is still so much I don’t understand, but I trust in God to guide my every breath.

 

 

Psalms 32:7

“For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.” Psalms 32:7

There are days living in the Spoonie world is difficult. Thick anxiety is layered within. Fear of those two heavy words.. what if. There have been an abundance of moments on this journey where I wanted to hide. Like a timid child hidden from the melody of an intimidating thunder-storm.

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When we were children, we didn’t just hide out of fear. Hiding provided entertainment and excitement. The anticipation of being found remains unwavering. However addition positive emotions associated with hiding have melted with age. Negative slush traps us.

Hiding provides an escape. For even a moment I would like to escape the burdens of the Spoonie world; the doctors, medication, testing, emotions… the burden of being a spoonie.

This verse reminds us of our ideal hiding place, which is the Lord. In the mists of chaos and struggles we can crawl into the Lords compassionate arms. He is our hiding place. He is the source of all we need; our everything.

The Lord knows everything; his understanding is unhindered. He spares us from countless tragedies. He gently guides us through each storm.

There is a blissful victory in Jesus. He allows each moment of our lives to work together and bring Him glory. Though I may walk through the valley of the shadow of death melting from the negativity within I know somehow the Lord will receive glory. There are many things I do not understand. But I refuse to allow the burdens of the spoonie life to hinder my faith. Despite it all I will praise the Lord. With a heart of gratitude and wonder I will thank the Lord for my struggles. For he will receive glory and victory. Blessings are woven into this season. He will transform it into a master piece. It will be used for something beautiful.

“Nothing in your life has happened by chance. You are here exactly at this moment in history with exactly the circumstance you have encountered because God has a specific task he wants you to fill.”  The Lord has an astonishing purpose for your life. He will use every negative thing for good, to encourage others. Keep faith. When you cannot take another step, rest in the sovereign arms of God.

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Birthday

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My parents and I all have our Birthdays in January. What’s even more unique is my mom and I share a birthday, which is today January 28th. The first six years of my life I was an only child. I adore being a big sister, but I am grateful for the years I spent as an only child. I believe those years allowed me to develop a special bond with each of my parents. “You love your parents, but as you get to know them you fall in love with them.” I believe this quote is absolutely true. As a child, our parents are heros. As teenagers, we drift away from our parents. We are so consumed with our lives, we don’t take enough time to get to know our parents and cherish the small amount of time God lends them to us. I cherish the time I have with my parents.

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My mom and I have always been close. She is the reason I am who I am today. I couldn’t ask for a better mother. God has truly blessed me. She has been with me for every appointment, ER trip, urgent care trip, every test, and every surgery. She’s the one who calms me down when Prednisone makes me crazy or when I’m just overwhelmed with everything. She is a huge encouragement and the source of strength. I am blessed that she introduced me to the Lord and raise me in a church. I am blessed that my mother encouraged and allowed me to go on missions trips and retreats. She always encourages me to lean on the Lord and to find strength in him.

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I wish I could remember all the wonderful moments we shared together as I was growing up however my illnesses have impaired my memory. I cherish the few things I remember, the stories I am told of these moments, the home videos and countless pictures I have.

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I know my illness is extremely difficult for my mother, which is heartbreaking for me. She is an admirable woman. I can only strive to be half as amazing, compassionate, and loving as she is. The strength she has always leaves me in awe. She has overcome and given so much in her life. I God every day that He blessed me with my mother. Thank you is not enough for everything she has done for me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

Today, at 2:14 pm I turn 21 years old. I did not think I would see this day. There were many times I wondered if I would wake up in the morning or if the Lord would send his angles to carry me to his arms. I’m only 21, but I have fought for my life a number of times. There are a thousand reasons I should not be alive, but for whatever reason the Lord has allowed me to still be here. 

 Most people cannot wait for their 21st birthday, however I am not most people.As my birthday approached I began to dread it. Another year has passed, making me yet another year older. 21. I have never been a fan of getting older. For as long as I can remember I wanted to stay in toy land, to stay a child. For me growing up was something I dreaded and feared. Until recently I never understood why. Now I am beginning to understand this bazaar fear. The fear is rooted entangled with pain. I began have chronic pain around six years old. Continuously I have associated getting older with more chronic pain as well as my health becoming more complex.

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Though I’m not thrilled to be 21, I am grateful to be alive and to have another year. Today is a day to celebrate everything I have overcome, being alive, and what I have accomplished. While I was 20 I began my Facebook page, this blog, survived my Reclast experience, achieved a 4.0 GPA, and other various small accomplishments. I look forward with hope to what will unfold during my time as a 21 year old. I hope to achieve at least a 3.8 GPA, get my kidney stones to stop, stabilize my health, grow my blog, become closer to God, and be able to go away to college in the fall.

 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

I hope you have a terrific day, thank you for stopping by! Sending lots of spoons, hugs, and prayers ❤