Can We Truly Work With Our Doctors?

Everyone gives the advise to work with your doctor. And don’t forget have them communicate with one another. Except for, it’s not always that easy. Most times, it is not an open conversation with a doctor. They will tell you what they are ordering, you better make an appointment. You can avoid it for a while but if you don’t do a or b they will state you declined medical advise and they are not responsible. Or if you don’t do it they let you go as a patience. I have had so few doctors who sit down with me and openly discuss my illness, treatment, or testing, or daily life.

I am not the typical text book case, actually none of it is black and white. I am a rare case. One may picture that brilliant team of doctors around the sick person discussing how to help them. Sadly, that only happens on television. In real looks more like this: gastro sees patient tells patient tell your cardiologist to do this. *They NEVER speak* Cardiologist ah, doesn’t look normal tell your rehemunatologist to order this test. In the hospital they argue. And in the end all that is accomplished working this way is stressing out the patient.

The healthcare system does not function decently, but rather it is extremely dysfunctional. Advocating for yourself as a patent is not an easy task. Additionally, it is most times just as difficult for a caregiver to advocate. Some don’t think patients know anything and should just follow directions. At times, asking for something that is undoubtedly needed results in someone telling you that you want another problem or someone gets offended that you are telling them what to do. More and more stories surface with the medical community not paying attention and causing devastation.

Once you are established at a medical center switching doctors is not only a hassle but can be dangerous due to not being able to refill medications. Sometimes, it feels like we are taped in the Spoonie world and the medical professionals hold the key to our escape. Without being able to truly work together we as patients suffer greatly.

What types of medical dysfunction have you encountered?

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Shake it Off

Living with a chronic illness is a challenge beyond words when encountering people who don’t understand. We have all had an experience of rudeness beyond belief. There are stairs when taking medication in public. Rude remarks when using a walking device. 

 I cannot tell you how many times people have been disrespectful or stared at me because I use a wheelchair in a store. The majority of the time people either stand in front of me, unwilling to move or practically run away. People act like I have the plague. I have heard over the few years I have used a wheelchair in a store that I am too young to use one or too pretty. The stairs and remarks make me feel like I owe people an explanation. However, I do not need to explain my life to everyone I encounter. If the right doors are open to education someone I don’t mind but there shouldn’t be a social pressure to explain it all. 

 Many people doubt the intensity of our pain and they question if we are indeed really sick. No one seems to understand battling against your body and taking care of yourself is a full-time job. Simple tasks are draining. Some people go out of their way to upset us or to be rude. They offer unnecessary options on how to break free of the chronic illness chains.

 

Too often Spoonies lose friends due to their illness. Some people want absolutely nothing to do with us while others act strangely towards us. 

Too often people judge us before they get to know us. People treat us at times like we are nothing or are stupid. 

Too often we hear phrases like: 

But you don’t look sick

You need to be more positive

Have you tried…

You’re too young to be sick

It must be nice not having to go to work/school

You’re just having a bad day

You need to get more exercise

It’s all in your head

Maybe if you got out more

These things get under a spoonies skin, to say the least. When people mistreat you, SHAKE IT OFF. It is not your fault. Don’t let them get to you. You are an amazing person. Even though you are ill, you are so valuable. You have so much to offer this world. Shake off the stares, Shake off the negative and nasty remarks, Shake off the heartbreak…. Shake it off.. It’s gonna be alright

Hold your head up high, cause it’s gonna be alright. You have so much courage. You are an inspiration for thriving despite every setback. Sending lots of spoons, prayers, and hugs. ❤

The Past 48 Hours

The past 48 hours have been drenched with blessings as well as apprehension. Yesterday my friend came over, which is a treat. I have been so ill that I hardly see any of my friends or go out with them. Being able to have tea and talk was marvelous. Those couple of hours are something I am immensely grateful for. I cherish the moments I spend with my family and friends.

I received a phone call, moments before my friend left, from the infusion center. The nurse informed me that my infusion was being cancelled because someone neglected to complete paperwork for the insurance company. In addition the nurse told me they had no idea when I could receive my infusion. My insurance company only approves me for my infusion for six months at a time, then it needs to be re-approved. I questioned the doctor as well as two nurses in the infusion room regarding the paper work and was assured that everything was in order, there was nothing I needed to do. It is vital for me to get my infusion on time. The day before and day of my infusion are extremely difficult. I know getting my infusion late- even by a day would throw off my body.

I called my insurance company, even though I was certain there was nothing they could do. Thankfully I was wrong. The person I spoke to was compassionate and was able to speed things up. Even though we did not know this morning if I would be able to receive my infusion, we headed down to the doctors. I made several phone calls on the way down. As I was speaking to the third person at my insurance, the approval went through.

They began my infusion an hour late. Time during the infusion crawled by as my pain intensified. In addition to my Lupus pain I was having terrible abdominal pain from kidney stones.

My doctor moved. Therefore I am now a patient of one of her former co-workers. I dreaded seeing a new doctor. I have encountered many  quacks, uneducated, and disrespectful doctors. My health is very complex it is annoying and sometimes difficult to get a new doctor up to date with everything happening.

To my delight this new doctor had reviewed my records and spoke to my previous doctor. She was also educated about my main illness, eager to assist me, and kind. After much discussion she prescribed Methotrexate.

I feel extremely blessed how the past few hours have unfolded. I never imagined this would happen. I am over joyed and very thankful to begin a new chapter in my treatment plan.

Sending you lots of prayers, spoons, and hugs ❤

*Methotrexate blog post coming soon! Be sure to subscribe this way you don’t miss it.