Psalms Bible Study

    This summer I am leading a super laid-back women’s online Bible study. We are reading one Psalm a week during the summer. We would be honored if you dropped by now and then or read through this life changing book with us. This post will focus on a brief introduction to the book of Psalm. Additionally, there will be a little on chapter one.

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Introduction to The Book of Psalm

A place of comfort. A refuge of strength with a ray of hope. Words alive to be cherished and written on the heart. The book of Psalm. Regardless of how one feels or where there are in their live story or how mature they are as a Christan, there is a relatable Psalm. Truly a Psalm for everyone.

The history of Psalm is richly complex over the course of more than 800 years. The outline of what occurred historically around various Palms is interesting rhythm to check it out here. I want to point out a few of these events behind this book of the Bible. For example, David & Goliath, During the Babylonish captivity, On the rebuilding of the temple, and During the war with Absalom.

Furthermore, God used numerous individuals. A few authors include David, Moses, Asaph, Solomon, and others. In addition, there are orphan Psalms which we do not know who wrote them.

The book of Psalm is broken down into five books. The order is as follows: Book 1 (Psalms 1–41), Book 2 (42–72), Book 3 (73–89), Book 4 (90–106), and Book 5 (107–150). Needless to say, this is the longest book of the Bible.

How is a Psalm defined? It is a poem, song, act of worship, prayer, and praise. The Psalm embodies experience, expression, and emotion. Read more in depth about this outline here. The Psalms tend to fall into these genres hymn, lament, thanksgiving, confidence, Remembrance, wisdom, and kingship.

A book could be written on the purpose of this book of the Bible, in opening Matthew Henry shares the following:

To assist the exercises of natural religion, and to kindle in the souls of men those devout affections which we owe to God as our Creator, owner, ruler, and benefactor. The book of Job helps to prove our first principles of the divine perfections and providence; but this helps to improve them in prayers and praises, and professions of desire towards him, dependence on him, and an entire devotedness and resignation to him. Other parts of scripture show that God is infinitely above man, and his sovereign Lord; but this shows us that he may, notwithstanding, be conversed with by us sinful worms of the earth; and there are ways in which, if it be not our own fault, we may keep up communion with him in all the various conditions of human life.

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Now, let’s take a look at Psalm chapter one (The Voice Translation), which was written by King David:

God’s blessings follow you and await you at every turn:
when you don’t follow the advice of those who delight in wicked schemes,
When you avoid sin’s highway,
when judgment and sarcasm beckon you, but you refuse.
 For you, the Eternal’s Word is your happiness.
It is your focus—from dusk to dawn.
You are like a tree,
planted by flowing, cool streams of water that never run dry.
Your fruit ripens in its time;
your leaves never fade or curl in the summer sun.
No matter what you do, you prosper.

 For those who focus on sin, the story is different.
They are like the fallen husk of wheat, tossed by an open wind, left deserted and alone.
In the end, the wicked will fall in judgment;
the guilty will be separated from the innocent.
 Their road suddenly will end in death,
yet the journey of the righteous has been charted by the Eternal.

At times, it seems like a tragedy with a side of heartbreak is around each bend. With what seemly endless negativity acknowledging the blessings around each turn can seem impossible. The negativity makes our view blurry. Take a few minutes to acknowledge the blessings in your life. Consider the blessings that you don’t generally “count”.

While studying the Bible or being connected with God in prayer avoiding sin can sound like a piece of cake. Yet once back into the world it is evident that this is not easy. Falling into sin can be second nature. We can only avoid sins highway and walk in the way of the righteous is only possible through the strength of Jesus.

My prayer is that each person reading this will become more rooted in Christ in this season of life. That you would drink so deeply and often of the Father’s Word that you would not run dry. Soaking up His goodness. I am confident that all you do within God’s will, will prosper beyond your wildest dreams. Your journey righteous sister has been charted compassionately by the Eternal.

Main points of this Psalm

  • The blessedness of the righteous man (1-3)
  • The desperation of the wicked (4-5)
  • A final contrast between their two ways (6)

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Lord,

All honor, glory, and praise belong to Your holy name. In Your name mountains are moved and seas parted. You are on the move in Mighty ways. Nature reflects Your beauty. The earth sings Your praises. You are beyond my understanding.

I am surrounded by your blessings no matter where I turn day or night. Freely You have lavished Your love on me. I praise Your name for who You are.

I am undeserving of all Your goodness. Give me the strength to battle my flesh and avoid sins highway. Let me resist sin in the powerful name of Jesus.

Your Word provides me with strength, guidance, and joy. Allow me to remain focused from dawn to dusk on Your precious Word. May I write on my heart. May my thoughts be consumed with You. Holy Spirit move within me. Let me be firmly planted in You. Let me prosper in Your name. Allow me to serve You and bring glory to Your name.

Amen

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I want to invite you, sweet friend to continue to dig into Psalm chapter one with me. I pray that you will sincerely cherish these living and active words. I am confident that the Lord will work within you during your time in the books of Psalm. I am excited to give you free print out a which will hopefully provide guidance as you study the Word of God. Please download, print, and share.  

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Holy Thursday

 

The washing of feet occurs multiple times in the Gospels, furthermore, in Biblical times, this was common. In this song, it is believed that Mary Magdalene is the woman washing Jesus’ feet. Some time later, it is witnessed in Scripture that Lazarus sister, Mary washes Jesus’ feet. Lastly, Scripture records the tender moment that Jesus compassionately washed His disciple’s feet.

There are plenty of overlapping details and each has details that make it unique from the other feet washings in Scripture. One of the disciples proclaims Lord if you only knew who was touching you as well as the horrifying sin in her life. He was more aware of the depth of her sin than she ever could be.

Sin is a focal point for each foot washing story. Holy Thursday, Jesus is with His disciples. Jesus was aware when He cleanses the disciples that He was about to take on the sins of the world unlocking the power of Salvation. Even so, He put on a garment of humility as His heart’s sorrow increased for all He was about to endure; not only physically but also emotionally and spiritually.

“Jesus, knowing that He had come from God and was going away to God,  stood up from dinner and removed His outer garments. He then wrapped Himself in a towel,  poured water in a basin, and began to wash the feet of the disciples, drying them with His towel.

Simon Peter (as Jesus approaches): Lord, are You going to wash my feet?

Jesus: Peter, you don’t realize what I am doing, but you will understand later.

Peter: You will not wash my feet, now or ever!

Jesus: If I don’t wash you, you will have nothing to do with Me.

Peter:  Then wash me but don’t stop with my feet. Cleanse my hands and head as well.

Jesus:  Listen, anyone who has bathed is clean all over except for the feet. But I tell you this, not all of you are clean.

Jesus is lowering Himself to servanthood as an example for His beloved children.”

John 13:3-10 The Voice Translation

Each person is in desperate need of the cross. In need of forgiveness, mercy, grace, God’s love, and salvation. Jesus lowered Himself not only to servanthood but to a horrible unexplainable death on the cross. Regardless of what anyone does, we will never fully comprehend this sacrifice on this side of Heaven. May we strive to understand it better consistently.

Numerous examples are displayed by Jesus for us in Scripture, however, none of them are natural or easy. To live in His footsteps requires us to surrender ourselves to Him, to be connecting with Him, and to have His Holy Spirit.

“Now tell me why do we gather together in His name, Are we like the ones who merely watched, Tell me is that why we came, Are we like this sister, Do we truly enter in, In spirit and in truth, Have you come to worship Him? With your hands, are you touching him, And with your heart are you loving Him, And with your hands are you holding on to His, Then the source of life was right there in your hands.” Touching Him by Ray Boltz.

 

Ponder these lyrics in your precious heart as you reflect on each aspect of the Holy Week story. Come to the Lord, in spirit and truth; laying every sin and burden at the foot of the cross. Be transparent with Him in prayer. He knows your every thought, sin, and desire but wants to hear from you and connect deeply with you. Allow The Souce of Life to renew your heart.

Jesus Christ,

I am constienly amazed when I read the Scriptures of Your precious life. Help me to continue to know You fully and to pursue You in my daily tasks. Open the eyes of my heart this Holy Week. Soften my heart. Give me a deeper understanding.

I am like the woman in the song a sinner from birth so unworthy of Your love. At times, my sinful nature takes over. I make dozens of excuses for my sins. I confess that I have not obeyed Your commands, I have not kept You first in my life, I have lacked compassion, I have been selfish, and much more. I cry out, Lord have mercy on me! Extend Your amazing grace. Lavish Your forgiveness onto me. Make me pure once more. Enable me to turn from my sinful nature.

The concept of Your completely free love can be hard to understand. My good works would never have been good enough, but You do not require them for my salvation. My countless mistakes are as far as the east is from the west in Your Sovereign eyes.

I surrender all I am to You. I do not want to merely watch I need to enter into Your Holy presence in spirit and truth. I desire to reach out, touch Your hand, and walk with You daily. I want to love You with all my heart. Move my heart in a new way as I reflect on the Easter story. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all that You have done for me. I love you.

Amen

Verse of The Year

Plenty of people craft a New Year’s resolution. Furthermore, it has become routine to designate a focus word or a Bible verse for the New Year. Recently, in our online Bible study my friend and co-leader posed the question of what verse will be their verse for 2017. Previously, I have never chosen a verse of the year and figured why not prayerfully chose one.

Friends have confined in me the blessings of selecting a verse of the year. For example, it assists an individual in focusing on Christ, provides encouragement, and guidance.

I wasn’t certain where to begin, therefore, I examined my prayer journal. Next, I prayed for direction for my verse of the year. I selected a handful of verses that deeply encourage me. I read through them and prayed once more. One verse had surfaced frequently over the past few months and consistently stood out. This particular verse seemed to fit for my verse of the year.  “Now to the God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we ever could ask or imagine through the power at work in us.” Ephesians 3:20 The Voice Translation.

I adore this verse, which contains reminders of God’s mighty truth. Likewise, Ephesians 3:20 speaks measures of God’s character. On a different note, I have learned that God’s plan is far better than mine. Furthermore, things usually don’t go as I had planned, however, God receives glory in the end. He uses what is viewed as negative events to shape me into the person He created me to be. Additionally, He is continually doing a greater work in my life than I could ask for, imagine, or fully comprehend. My goal is to focus on the awe-inspiriting things and purpose God has for my year. Through His power to serve Him better as well as others. My wildest dreams are nothing compared to His perfect plan.

Advent & The Belt of Truth

The belt of truth relates to advent. Jesus, the truth put on flesh and joined the world as a delicate baby. “The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world” John 1:9 NIV. Through Jesus, God reveals to us His truth. In addition, His word exposes it. His truth enables us to discern right from wrong as well as almost right from right. Truth is essential to our spiritual well-being.

By putting on the belt of truth we are a reflection of Jesus. Take time from the businesses of the season to go deeper with the one who is the reason for it all. Meditate on God’s truth. Consider how God might burden your heart to be a vessel for His truth to the world. Furthermore, you sweet friend are a light to this world.

Like the belt holds together the armor, God holds together our world. “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” Colossians 1:17.

God’s truth sets us free which provides peace that surpasses all understanding.  Despite, not so silent nights Christ’s peace continues to rule our hearts. This peace is not affected by the events or chaos in life. The second week of advent we reflect on the peace candle. We are reminded to slow down. To breath. Basking in His presence. Surrendering all to Him.

As you strap on the belt of truth this advent season and ponder these things in your heart rejoice in the goodness of God.  Praise Him for who He is. Rejoicing in the fact that He sent His only son.“Heavenly Choir: To the highest heights of the universe, glory to God! And on earth, peace among all people who bring pleasure to God!” Luke 2:14 The Voice

My prayer for you this advent is that you would develop a more intimate relationship with Christ. That He would use the Christmas story to move your heart in a new and beautiful way. That there are many moments are consumed with deep joy and laughter. The Lord would use you as a vessel of truth to others.

Lord,

We rejoice in this stunning Christmas season. Our hearts sing praises for the precious and priceless gift of Your son. Enable us to put on Your belt of truth daily. Give us discernment. Help us to remain focused on Your truth. Thank you for holding together the universe and our individual world. For all the blessings You have graciously given us. Use us to bring honor and glory to Your name. Allow us to be a vessel in the work You are doing in others lives. Use us to bring others closer to You. Fill our hearts with your peace, love, and joy. Allow us to grow closer to you daily. Deeply bless this Christmas season in a new way. Provide all we need.

Amen

The Struggle of Our Today

“We’ll tell you about our broken places of yesterday but don’t dare admit the limitations of our today.” Lysa Terkeurst.

Wow. These words are heavy, exposing the truth. It is easier to talk about the past. How we have overcome trials demonstrating our own persistence and strength. Of course, from time to time we will include God, most times as a hero who swept in and saved the day. Rescuing us from the storm.

But talking about today? Being transparent; honest? That is a different story. It takes guts. We like to appear to the world as having it all together. As if we can accomplish this insane to do list, save the world, and be home for supper. In reality, we are falling apart- most people are facing limitations daily, which could be illness, addiction, family disputes, or finances.

 

With a chronic illness, we act often. Taking on the role of a healthy and normal individual in order to blend in or make others happy. A friend asks how we are… and too often, we smile straight up telling a lie, “I’m doing great”…. Desperately we even debate which lies to tell our doctor. What is worth sharing? Will he or she believe me? Is it worth the frustration? It is challenging, to be honest, and the individual that God created us to be. Isolation closes in on us; as we swim in the sea of invisible illness.

 

Without a doubt, there is a time and a place for everything. God’s word echo’s this in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” At times taking on a role has its advantages, and at other times, it is downright damaging. There is also a time for raw honesty. “You weren’t designed to go through suffering alone. As times get tough — and they will — reach out and reach up. “You weren’t designed to go through suffering alone. As times get tough — and they will — reach out and reach up,” Rick Warren.  Putting yourself out there is scary. Sharing your heart is healthy. By sharing with others, you become an inspiration and encouragement to others. Struggling does not make you weak, it makes you human.

Additionally, we ask who can we be honest with. Lately, I seem to keep hearing the same message, we   were not meant to do life on our own. We were made for community, not isolation. But in all honesty, it easier to say than do. Falling into isolation becomes easy with an illness. Most times, it is not intentional. We flare up, battle fatigue, and lose many friends. Having someone we can confide in about the struggles of today is rare. There are people who hurt us, leave us, and betray our trust.

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I think it is hard, to be honest in this way because we don’t want to be negative or a burden to others. At the same time, it is important to do so. Not only is it healthy, but it allows others to support us and specifically pray with us then allows us the chance to offer the same to them. Being honest allows us to share with others how God is working in our lives right now.

 

Personally, I have two friends who I can be brutally gut level honest with, knowing in my heart that no matter what they will still love me and will pray with me. Their friendship is a beautiful treasure. I hope you have at least one person who you can be honest with about the struggles of today.

 

Lord,

 

You are the God who sees us and knows us completely. Teach us how to be honest about the struggles of today. Bless us with people who we can share our burdens with and support. Allow us to continually bring glory to Your Holy Name.

 

Amen

Hospital Part 2

Part two more or less of my hospital stay. I apologize it is all over the place.

I had two strange nose bleeds. I have had more nose bleeds in my life than I can count but these were different. My second one happen 4 am. I got blood everywhere in my bathroom, it poured out uncontrollably. I am anemic currently so I feel that it is related.

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I had a repeat colonoscopy last Tuesday.  The picture above is my special drink. I usually do Miralax for colonoscopies. I found this solution to work quicker, be less painful, and taste somewhat better. I did get dizzy.  This one is called go lightly. I got the solution late in the day and was still nauseated so my nurse told me to drink as much as I could without making myself sick. I got more than half down.

I had been given my insomnia medication the night before the scope. I usually don’t take it at home and I had forgotten why until I had an emotional meltdown directly after the scope. I didn’t get much sleep the night before and woke up too soon after the scope. I wasn’t crying because my colon has healed somewhat. I was crying because I was scared of not being taken seriously and being taped in this abdominal flare up. I know the pain levels need to come down in order for me to function better. Apparently not everyone understands that humans have emotions. Someone had told my mom that I need a psychiatrist. I get extremely irritated when people dismiss me or downplay my pain and symptoms.

I believe that crying can be helpful in coping with an illness and life in general. Medication can also play into emotions. I have had people tell me I need a better attitude when I am doubling over in pain at the doctors office. No one smiles 24/7.

The IV fluids were my best friend. It makes a huge difference. I ran low-grade fevers off and on as well.

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I was discharged late on the 6th. I have only been home a few days, my body is still trying to adjust. Last night I wasn’t able to sleep. I started having IBS/IBD symptoms 4 am. Therefore, Saturday was  difficult. I had a lot of nausea. I couldn’t take any of my meds until 1 pm. The doctor had been talking about readmitting me, but I don’t feel that is necessary at this point.

I see a newish Gastro Friday. We are hopeful that she will be able to help. I am still randomly bruising and bleeding. I am able to eat some. Grateful for the small improvements. Thank you to everyone who prayed for me when I was in the hospital.

 

Saying No

They tell you that you have rights as a patient. That you and your doctor are on the same level. That is not always reality. If you disagree many times a doctor will get upset. As paticents we are expected to do what we are told. Most times our options are not taken into consideration. Many doctors assume that we do not understand what is going on at all and that we are uneducated. If we know something, they are shocked questioning why we know it and how we got the information. No offense but in this day and age acquiring knowledge is simple- it’s called the internet.

I have gone through countless medical testing all with an optimistic attitude. I smile though all the pain and attempt to make jokes (of course most people don’t find me funny). I understand that people are doing their job and I am doing mine to the best of my ability. Of course I vent in the car or at home. I have always been submissive and respectful. Taking everything the doctor says into consideration, even if I disagree.

At times I have been a gunie pig. I have went through testing that could have been avoided. I understand that many times testing is needed but it is draining, costly, and time consuming. A face biopsy is where I draw the line. I had my first biopsy last fall. I still have not healed completely from it. It might sound vein but I do not want a dark ugly scar on the middle of my face. My body has endured many procedures. It has never truly had a break. From age fourteen to twenty one every few months, it has been something. I know it is important to take care of myself. I feel apart of that is allowing my body to have a break from any invasive test. A time for it to rest, recover, and heal from the combat.

It is not easy telling your doctor that you disagree with them. They hold the power to diagnose you and they dictate your treatment plan thus they have a lot of power over your life. With a proper diagnosis and treatment plan you can function and have a life, with out it…. It is a miserable road of endless resting and searching for answers.

A Caregivers Perspective. Part One.

Being a Mom of a Chronically Ill Child

Written By: Eileen Guyadeen

Being a caregiver of one who is chronically ill comes with countless challenges. Caring for an ill child is one of the most difficult things to do. Those who are ill rely completely on their caregivers. Being a caregiver can be a lonely, overwhelming, and blessed road. This post is to honor all caregivers, especially my own, my mother Eileen Guyadeen. Without her I would not be where I am today or who I am today. I could never express enough gratitude for all she has done for me.

-Victoria

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My daughter Victoria who writes this blog for chronic ill people, ask me if I would write something for it. I will start at the beginning, Victoria was born on my birthday which is January 28, 1994. She was a healthy baby at 6 lbs 8 oz. A blessing in every way possible, especially when my own doctor told me it will be nearly impossible for me because of myself having endometriosis, and like I told the doctor he is not God, and I truly believe with God all things are possible. My pregnancy went pretty well, listening to my doctor and doing whatever I needed to do to have a healthy child.

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Victoria was an active child by the time she was two and a half I had enrolled her in ballet classes, and she simply loved it too. She was small for her age and I kept her first ballet and taps shoes for my keepsake, because the dance teacher had a hard time finding things to fit her. She always loved playing outdoors all the time, during the summer she played in her pool, with her toys, and even loved reading outside all thru the beginning of her teenage years. In every way possible Victoria was always an active child. However over the years since she was a baby Victoria always seem to get a lot of viruses, doctor couldn’t always explain it to me why she did, always missing a lot of school. I remember by the time her ninth birthday rolled around she had a lot of stomach problems, she was out of school for three months, I finally started to record everything she ate and it was the diary that was making her so sick, so I cut it out from her diet. I spent plenty of times in the emergency room with her stomach problems never to know what was going on, and more important never an answer for what was going on.

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By the time she was in middle school when I took her to the doctor for the problem, her doctor thought she was trying to get out of going to school. I brought in her report card showing this child was an honor and high honor roll student, and loved being in school. Thru out high school my daughter’s health got worst, going thru five operations in four years. Her health got worst by the time she was a junior in high school that she was on homebound for school. By the time her senior year was about to start the principal of her high school share with us if Victoria miss more than ten days of school she would not be able to walk at her graduation. So with that statement Victoria ask me if she could Cyber School her senior year, and I agree that she could. She finished her senior year with 3.7 GPA, the night of her graduation it was very painful for her to walk at the ceremony, and I cried with her and said I know however you did it with honors in spite of your pain.

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Since Victoria graduated from high school things for her with her health has gotten worst. Doctors never can make up their minds for a treatment plan for her, it makes a person’s head spin. I have been ask so many times, how I do this with my daughter’s health. My answer to the question is my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. With everyone appointment rather a doctor appointment, a trip to urgent care, test, or even the emergency room, and hospital stay, I carry along with me my Bible, why because I begin to search the scriptures for God’s promises. In the book of Jeremiah 29:11 it says For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Victoria is a gift from God and I do believe that he loves her even more than her dad and I could ever love her.  Every time my daughter cries in pain, I say to her that God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, and I can do all things thru Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13) we have cried together, as well as something more important which is to pray together. For God to give her the strength going thru this, as well as wisdom for her doctors, to see what He sees inside of her, because Jesus is the great physician. It is never easy, right before my daughter went off to college I had a meltdown. Yelling at God what did my daughter ever do to deserve this horrible disease, and then finally after I stop being angry at God, I heard a voice in my heart then why my son (Jesus Christ) in your place on the cross, I never ask that question again. I am always asking God for the strength thru all of this, we travel two hours each way to her doctors, and yes there has been many times I am total drain with running back and forth. I also have two other children to care for, which at times I feel as thro I have short change them thru this. I try to remember different things to get me thru, Stop, Drop, Kneel, and Pray, I have relied on God to get us thru this with my daughter. Jesus never promises anyone that once we accepted him as our own personnel savior, that our lives would be easy, he promises , surely I am with you always to the end of time (Matthew 28:20) I have seen my own personnel walk with Christ change for the better. I wanted to show Victoria, as well as my other two children, that life can become very hard for us at times, and thru those difficult time we need to run to the Lord, not away from him. Lean on Jesus and give him our burdens. In the gospel of Matthew 11:28 Jesus says these words Come to me, all you who are heavy burdened, and I will give your rest, Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden light. If anyone ever read the poems Footprints in the Sand, as you read these words it says, Lord you say that once I started to follow you, you would never leave me, so I don’t understand why was it at the difficult times I saw once one set of footprints, and the other times there were two. He replied my precious child during those hard times, it was then that I carried you. So I can picture during these hard times Jesus is carrying my daughter. Victoria is in the process of finishing her second year of college, in which she has been doing on line for a while. In thru all of her pain, doctors, test etc. Victoria has manage to be on the Dean’s list at Sussex County Community College, with a 4.0 GPA, as well as being inducted into the international honor society this past March. In the fall she will finish her BA degree at Centenary College which is not far from us, and then hopefully on to Drew University for her Master degree. Thru all of the medical problems that my daughter has gone thru so far, I have totally relied on my church family for prayer, as well as other family or friends, because pray to me is an essential tool we need to have with our daily walk with Christ. For me thru all of this I continue to walk with my Lord, with prayer, studying the scriptures and being involved in my church and just serving him. I continue to thank God for choosing me to be Victoria’s mom, I have been the one who has been bless. Yes it has been difficult with her disease, you see she has lupus which is an autoimmune disease, however it doesn’t define who she is and that is she is the daughter of the most high king Jesus Christ.

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The World Doesn’t Pause

The world doesn’t pause when your chronically ill. This truth hits too hard, too soon. A chronic illness soon becomes yesterdays news. People don’t understand that chronic is just that, it is chronic. It doesn’t take a vacation (though that would be great). It is something that we deal with every second of every day of every week of every month of every year. Symptoms may vary, we might have good days, but it is something we need to always be mindful of. People get frustrated that you aren’t getting better. Frustrated that you cancel plans. Frustrated that you can’t do the things you use to do. Slowly one by one the friendships fade. They don’t want to deal with being friends with someone who is sick. The promises that they would always be by your side has been shred.

The world continues forward full speed ahead. It didn’t pause when I stepped into the OR, the doctors office, or went for testing. This fact is plain as day. Yet sometimes it hits me in the face like a two by four. And the tears stream out wildly. The realization sets in of the events that I missed. Those events that everyone makes a big deal out of and you obsessively ponder moment after moment. Sure the events themselves might not be so glamours but the thoughts of them and preparing for them are. Such as prom. The remainder of my examples fail to meet the expatiation of a typical American my age, like a mission trip to Africa (Or any where else for that matter), spending the day at the beach, or going on a retreat. Yes, I am aware there is no correlation between these events other then I feel like I missed out on them to some extent.

Losing friends is an aspect of being chronically ill. Life isn’t like a movie where everyone is super supportive, helpful, and understanding. I never expected that many of mine would desert me. It leaves me utterly heartbroken, but I do understand to an extent. They have their lives, they are moving forward and embarking on new adventures. I am geniuenly happy for them.

That though is not my reality. I am still fighting for my life. It can be discouraging and frustrating for me to watch via Facebook my friends or acquaintances living life doing the things my heart desperately longs to do. It has been especially difficult to see people I know out there serving on the missions field. God has blessed me with a heart for missions. However His calling was not what I had expected. He has called me to serve in microscopic ways currently from my room or the urgent care bed. To run a Facebook page a simply encourage people. I know in my heart I am where God called me to be, but it is difficult at times. There can be discomfort in every season of life which is why it is essential to wait on the Lord and remember this is only a season which will gently come to an end.

ecclesites

God has used my chronic illnesses as a tool to shape me into the person who he crafted me to be. Some people don’t like the fact that I have changed, but the truth is we all grow and change regularly. Many do not understand the daily struggles of chronic illness. A good day now looks nothing like a good day two years ago, though I hope my good days will improve.

Coping with the world racing forward, as we are stuck in this spoonie world is a challenge. Like all aspects of spoonie life, we adjust and we learn to thrive despite the set backs and pain. One thing that has helped me adjust to the spoonie world is connecting with other spoonies. There are many online resources such as Facebook pages, private Facebook groups, YouTube Channels, and blogs. Talking to other spoonies helped me find my new spoonie normal. For more tips on coping with chronic illness check out my blog post :https://chronicallyhopeful2014.wordpress.com/2015/01/12/coping-part-two/

Share in the comments your experience with the world moving forward while you are stuck in the spoonie world.