Seriously, I Can’t Hear You

I can’t hear you. Could you please repeat that? No, I did not hear you come in. I am completely serious, though it is hard to believe at twenty-three. I previously blogged at my hearing loss mentioning a couple unstable theories. Shortly after, receiving my HHT diagnosis, I was told I needed my hearing checked. The doctor who relayed the message was skeptical because she had been on my case for a brief amount of time and was unaware that I had issues hearing. To be fair, the doctor who ordered it was never told either. Simply, because it never came up, furthermore, it did not seem relevant

I went through an intense hearing test while I was having no trouble hearing. I found out a few days later that I have extremly mild bilateral hearing loss. However, was not mentioned at the appointment, I am guessing because it is so minor. There isn’t anything to do, but it is a great thing to know.

If you went undiagnosed for any significant amount of time you understand the value of a reason for dictating symptoms. Though there are an overwhelming amount of questions at times without answers, having a name to the monster helps. The name doesn’t not by any means make the road any easier it just makes someone feel validated in their bodies rebellion.

 

Not my Problem

Having undiagnosed pain and symptoms is among one of the most frustrating things. Every doctor uses the same few phrase, “your complicated, your different, not my problem, I don’t know what to tell you.”  If I hear one more doctor tell me this is not their problem I will either cry or scream. No one can provide me any direction or any medical advice.

I have had abdominal issues for as long as I can remember. I’m not convinced all my abdomen flares are related. The only thing I do know is each time another flare begins it is worse then the last. The pain becomes more intense and unbearable and new symptoms emerge. In addition to the unbearable pain, this flare, comes with a side of fevers, vomiting, sever abdominal swelling, back pain, and trouble lifting my right leg. This flare is worst then every flare before. It dictates my life. I cannot function. I can barely keep my head above water with my school work. I cannot put into words how frustrated I feel.

My mother and I have searched endlessly high and low for answers. I have endured hours of testing. I have e-mailed and spoken to every doctor of mine. Yet no one can provide direction. I do not know where to go from here. I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know who to reach out to. All I know is someone needs to provide some direction and someone needs to help me.

If you are walking the daunting road of undiagnosed symptoms, you are not alone. What you are enduring is too much emotionally and physically. You are much stronger than you know. You will overcome this. There will be a doctor who will listen, who will understand your symptoms, and will provide a treatment plan. This is only a road block, this is not your destiny, this is not the end. There is a light of hope at the end of this dark place. Keep searching, keep fighting, keep hoping, and keep pushing forward. Give it everything you’ve got. It will be okay. I hope you are having a lovely afternoon filled with blessings and that you can rest comfortably.  Sending spoons, hugs, and prayers.